


To Like and To Love

by orphan_account



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-03
Updated: 2013-06-03
Packaged: 2017-12-13 20:14:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/828385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Merlin meets a pretty, charming new servant girl.  Arthur does not like how much time he spends with her.</p>
            </blockquote>





	To Like and To Love

Merlin meets Genevieve when he runs into her with an armful of Arthur’s dirty laundry.

He apologizes profusely and she laughs at him, and that’s why he notices that she has a wonderful laugh. It’s the most infectious sort of laugh and it flows like music. After he has gathered the clothes he dropped, he introduces himself.

“Merlin,” he says, awkwardly offering a hand while trying not to drop the clothes again.

“Genevieve,” she says, “I’ve just started working in the kitchens.”

She’s small and pretty, with big brown eyes and beautiful red hair. Her smile is as infectious as her laugh and she has a sort of inherent charm that draws Merlin in immediately.

As soon as she is gone he is wondering when he will see her again. He’s glad he knows where to find her.

*

It is less than a week later that he does see her again, and in that time he hears a lot about her. Apparently everyone is taken with her. She is kind and strong and proud and unafraid to speak her mind, which Merlin thinks would turn some people off, but apparently it doesn’t work like that for Genevieve. 

When he does see her again he has time to chat and so does she. He finds that they have a lot to chat about. She punches him in the arm for not telling her immediately that he was Arthur’s servant, because wasn’t there some sort of propriety involved in him being so far above her? Shouldn’t she curtsy or something? And then she does curtsy and Merlin laughs at her and she laughs with him and it’s nice and easy and a fun change from spending so much time around Arthur. Even when he does spend time with anyone else, it is usually Gwen, who for all her good qualities as a friend would be the last person to make the kind of uncouth offhand comments Genevieve makes, even occasionally regarding Uther himself. She doesn’t seem to feel the need to censor anything.

So Merlin starts spending more and more time with her, and that is why Arthur becomes aware of her existence.

“Look Merlin,” he says one night after dinner, making Merlin’s name sound like an insult in the way only he is capable of, “if your little girlfriend is going to get in the way of your regular duties too much then I will have her removed from the castle.”

“She’s not my girlfriend,” Merlin says immediately, “and why are you being such an ass?”

Arthur raises his eyebrows. Merlin is always bold with him, but things usually have to escalate quite a bit more for him to be this bold.

“I’m not entirely sure she’s a good influence on you Merlin,” he says.

“I’m not entirely sure I care about your opinion. Sire.”

On that note Merlin finishes clearing away Arthur’s dishes and leaves Arthur alone in his chambers, stunned into silence.

*

To be fair, Arthur will admit to himself, if not to Merlin, that his performance as a servant hasn’t suffered since he met Genevieve. If anything he has been more efficient than ever, no doubt in order to buy himself more time to spend with her. 

It’s just, the thing is, he’s not a constant presence anymore.

Arthur sort of got used to having him as a shadow.

He’s not jealous, that would be ridiculous, it’s just an adjustment from having Merlin underfoot all day long to only seeing him when he actually has a reason to be around. 

So naturally Arthur starts making up more reasons for Merlin to be around.

This upsets Merlin, however, so now when he’s around he’s sulking and tossing Arthur’s armor about in a less than respectful manner and saying ‘sire’ so often that it becomes infuriating. The end result of this is that they yell at each other and Merlin storms off to be with Genevieve, and Arthur has to admit that that plan backfired miserably. 

His next idea is to force Merlin out hunting with him, because at least when he’s in a foul mood now he won’t be able to storm off. He plans a five-day trip, just the two of them, and Merlin glares at him the entire time they’re riding out.

The first night Merlin is giving him the silent treatment and it’s driving Arthur mad. He can’t admit that, however, so he’s in a tight spot. He’s just about to give up and try to go to sleep when Merlin takes pity on him. Sort of.

“Why can’t I be happy?” he asks.

Arthur doesn’t respond.

“Why is it that when someone makes me happy you just have to try and make it difficult? Why do you do that?”

Arthur isn’t sure what to say to that, because he knows what the truth would be. The truth would be that Merlin is his only friend, the only person who is honest with him, the only person he trusts completely, the only person he feels like himself with, and he is terrified of losing that to someone else. 

Instead of saying that he stares at the fire and wonders briefly how long it took for him to become this way, so terrified of being vulnerable to anyone, of needing or depending on anyone. It’s been true for as long as he can remember, so he figures Uther must have taught him this when he was young. He wonders if he could change for someone really important. He wonders if he could change for Merlin. He wishes he could but he doesn’t trust himself, he thinks he would screw it all up and that’s why he won’t tell Merlin what he’s really thinking.

He looks up and Merlin is staring at him with an odd look on his face. He no longer seems angry, but this look is worse. It makes Arthur feel naked, like Merlin is seeing something of him that he really wishes he wouldn’t but he is not sure how to stop it.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” he says in an attempt to break the moment, “I really didn’t. I’m sorry.”

“It’s all right actually,” Merlin says still staring at Arthur like he has cracked some sort of code, “you don’t have to explain.”

On that note Merlin lies down to go to sleep, leaving Arthur confused and worried that he has inadvertently revealed something he didn’t want to.

*

On the third day of the hunt Merlin says something strange.

“Do you ever wonder why people end up together?”

“It’s convenient for them I suppose,” Arthur says.

“No,” Merlin says, “I mean when people really love each other. How does that happen?”

Arthur scoffs. He doesn’t have the faintest idea about how love works. 

“I mean,” Merlin says, as if talking to a small child, “what makes them drawn to that one person? If, let’s say, there is someone it seems like they should be with, someone who is great for them and makes them feel good, but they don’t want that person, they want someone else. Someone who doesn’t seem as good for them, like maybe they don’t talk about their feelings or they don’t even acknowledge to themselves that they have them. Why would anyone not stay with the person who makes them feel good?”

Arthur swallows. He doesn’t want to think that they’re talking about what he knows they’re really talking about, and he is reminded of the strange knowing look Merlin gave him on the first night of the trip. He feels that he needs to choose his next words very carefully.

“I suppose,” he says slowly, “it just wouldn’t feel right. Because maybe they knew they could be the only one to make the other person open up, and that makes them special, and maybe the other person needs them more than the nice one does.”

He refuses to meet Merlin’s eyes as he says this, and he can feel his face reddening. Luckily Merlin lets it drop after that, although Arthur is certain this won’t be the end of whatever strange thing is happening between them.

*

When Merlin and Arthur get back to Camelot, Merlin immediately goes to see Genevieve. He catches up on the servant’s gossip with her and they share a few stolen bread rolls and watch the sunset on a set of tower steps outside. Genevieve sits a few places above Merlin and he lounges beneath her, looking out across the whole of Camelot from their vantage point. It’s nice, and he finds he has missed her.

“Arthur thinks you’re my girlfriend,” he says suddenly. “It’s funny, he’s trying to keep me away from you. That’s what that whole trip was about I’m sure of it. He’s threatened by our love.”

Genevieve laughs. “I could never be in love with you,” she says easily.  
Merlin looks up at her, slightly offended. “Why not?” he asks.

“Because I like you too much.”

He supposes in some strange way that makes sense, because he feels it too a little bit. He likes Genevieve a lot, but he doesn’t love her.

“I think I might love someone else,” he tells her, “And I think they might love me too, but I don’t think they know what to do about it.”

“I guess you have to do something about it then,” she says, and he has no idea how she could possibly know but he feels that she knows. He looks up at her and she smiles. “Go on then,” she says, “do something about it.”

Merlin smiles back at her and sets off for Arthur’s chambers.

*

Arthur seems surprised to see him, and he looks as if he has been upset recently.

“What’s wrong?” Merlin asks.

“Nothing,” he says, “I just… nothing, everything is fine.”

“You just what?” Merlin asks, moving closer to him.

“You went to see Genevieve and I wasn’t expecting that to happen,” Arthur says, and even that tiny bit of honesty makes him feel far more exposed than he ever wished to be.

“Ah,” Merlin says, and can’t keep himself from grinning. “Well you needn’t worry. She won’t be monopolizing my time anymore.”

“Oh?” Arthur says carefully.  
“No,” Merlin continues. “I think at first I thought I might like her like that, like maybe I could love her, but she doesn’t love me.”

“I’m sorry,” Arthur says, confused about which direction this conversation is headed.

“Nah, it’s fine,” Merlin says, “See, the thing is, she told me she couldn’t love me. Because she likes me too much.”

There is a heavy pause before Arthur speaks.

“I don’t like you very much,” he says.

“I don’t like you very much either,” Merlin replies, smiling widely. 

And for the first time since that first night of the hunt, Arthur relaxes and smiles too.


End file.
